When we first met, I was a religion major at a Christian University seeking to go into full time ministry and seminary. I figured I'd get married some day, have kids, and still pursue "ministry". I was so deeply entrenched in feminism (honestly, I didn't have a clue!) It was just the way I had been raised. I was bent on having a career, family, "the American Dream!"

Well reality made a wake up call soon after I married Brad! What had I been thinking! How was I supposed to finish college, take care of a baby and pursue the "ministry" God had called me to?! Boy was I naive as to what marriage and motherhood were about!

I quit college for 3 years. I had 2 children (ages 8 mos and 2 yrs at the time) when I went back to school. I had changed my major to Social Work, put my kids in FT day care and continued the pursuit of a career.

I had one good friend who was strategically placed by God in my life at that time. "For such a time as this..." This was Mrs. Proverbs 31 incarnate! And as much as I admired her (from afar) she intimidated the heck out of me! She aked me point blank "what are you doing? What are you thinking?" and then followed a 3 year "persecution" (or so I felt). My friend and I bitterly battled over scriptural principles of women's roles, responsibility of parents, feminism, the concept of "children as blessings" (boy was that a new concept!) I had gotten to the point that I once said out loud "If I have to spend 8+ hours a day with my kids I will go crazy!" This was a bitter battle to the end!! I knew my friend truly loved me and was concerned for my kids. Thats why I didn't just blow her off! I paid close attention to her, even though I just couldn't see scripturally how to agree completely. She challenged me...(challenging a rebellious person can usually get them to do what you want! Rebels always rise to a challenge!) She challenged me to read Mary Pride's book The Way Home. I walked away from that book never looking at my children the same way since! I learned the concept of "blessings!"

God did miracles in my life through this friend. Though it was very painful. It is by God's grace alone that our friendship survived! Unfortunately, I was a works in progress...My husband and I actually tried to get pregnant with my third. The desire for more children was a miracle in itself! God was really working on me! After Joshua was born, he had a severe ABO blood incompatibility problem. Similar to my second baby. Doctors told us that both my second and third baby "probably would not make it through the night". The nightmare of another baby being that sick scared me to death! We decided for a tubal prior to the knowledge that there was a 50% chance every child we had could have this same problem! Even though we decided for a tubal BEFORE we knew this information,this knowledge did make us feel better about our decision. To make a long story even longer...the forecast for my children were "severe learning disabilities, probable deafness, delayed development and some permanent brain damage." Well, they didn't know my GOD! My children are perfectly normal! No signs of any problem ever having taken place! The baby girl they said would have learning disabilities and brain damage...well, she just turned 4 yo in Oct...and in in the middle of her FIRST GRADE curriculum!

Anyway, doctors said the blood incompatibility was deathly dangerous. What they didn't tell me was that it all could have been avoided by NOT having a c-section! My blood crossed the placenta and entered the baby's blood. And my blood began to destroy the baby's blood. (BTW, we never even had to have a transfusion either!) If my doctor had allowed me to have a trial of labor, this all could've been avoided! I believe all 3 of my c/s were unnecessary! And I am committed more than ever now (should God bless my womb again) to have a midwife or doula deliver me at a birthing center or hospital with a birthing sweet. I believe medical intervention was unnecessary in my births!

Anyway, it was 6 months after I had the tubal that I became a broken person before God and repented. I asked God to forgive me and prayed that my husband would have a change of heart. I never approached Brad about a reversal, until he came and told me that he felt maybe we should look into it! God had faithfully changed my husband's heart as well. Not just on the idea of having another child, but ditching the birth control all together and trusting God with our family size! He is still a miracle working GOD!!

 Blessings In Messiah, Dawn

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Photos from our trip to North Carolina for a reversal surgery with Dr. Gary Berger!!

Our reversal fund was paid for by the members of the Blessed Arrows Ministry.  It took 2 months for the funds to be collected.  One family alone sent an anonymous donation of $3500 so my fund was blessed by God to have moved RATHER QUICKLY!!!!

My reversal  surgery was done on November 17, 1998 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.