1. She'd been drinking Jane's white spiders,
And Don's elderberry wine,
She said goodnight to all us cavers,
And the last thing that she said was "Sixty Nine!"

Well we found her the next morning,
by registration and vendor's row,
With salamander prints on her forehead,
And a bat was sucking blood out of her toe!

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2. Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,
We were sure that he would crack,
He's got a Budweiser in one hand,
And a funnellator stretched across his back!

It's not MVOR without Grandma,
All the bats are dressed in black,
And we can't help but wonder,
Should we sell her banquet tickets or give them back!

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3. Now the booze is on the table,
Hot dogs are cooking over twigs,
And the ashes that they're making,
Would've matched the hair in Grandma's wig!

Now I've warned all my fellow cavers,
They better watch out for themselves,
Beware the phantom spelunker,
He smokes cyalume's and gives out Bullshit Yells!

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Sing it Grandpa!

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