Dinner for one
Table for one
One
The most desolate number
That only the lonely
Know
Choking down the sour
Fruits of the tree
That springs forth
Sour life
Sipping from the bottom
Of the rusted cup
And the tinge of licking
The empty plate
After
feasting on your
Shame
Biting the bitter pill
Swallow it down
I love you
Be with me forever
I can tickle you with a feather
Rub on your toes
Kiss on your nose
Make you laugh and giggle
No sorrow for today
Love till we get carried away
Come with me, love
And build velvet gardens
That you dream of
There we sleep
With soft delights
Holding you to keep
For all your nights
Cause I know you’re my angel
I know this is true
And wake to your face
All my days through….
(untitled)
Let me live on in these words
And let me be happy on these pages
Or whatever emotion I bestow
With this immortality of the
Written word
Let this poem live on
In whoever understands
In whoever knows
Perhaps lived it
Like I have
I know it
I understand it
Keep it safe
So others can use it
And know
There are people who love
People who feel
People who hurt
Just as much
-You can’t be alone knowing that
Illusions
I can laugh at your wilted flowers;
Once was sweet as roses
Blooms to fill my darkness,
Grand fields of red happiness
Now decay at my feet
Turning the cycle once more-
Just another trampled lie
Sustained by churning oceans
But void of your promises:
I will smile as the thorn
Is plucked from my side
Having wandered too far
With too thin a skin
-And too small
An impression-
Of where the velvet shade ends,
And you begin;
(Held in highest regards)
I lay you in the weeds,
Not the angel I imagined
But the devil before me-
No longer immortalized
By my thoughts
As thin a substance
As you are made to be
-Lost you in me-
Swept away with
-Battered emotions
-Pointless inspirations
The portrait of the goddess
Now a smear on my canvas
Just a smudge
Of what would have been
The princess that danced
On my busy pen
Ringed in my words
And on my tongue
Sits a beggar on my lips,
Marked a flame
Instead of the sun.
15
If I was to leave
Would you ask me to stay?
If I was quiet
Would you make conversation?
If I said you were beautiful
Would you believe it?
If I wanted to touch you
Would it be okay?
If I were to frown
Would you make me smile?
If I was sad
Would you comfort me?
If I gave you the world
Would you take it?
If I drew a picture
Would you hang it on your wall?
If I kissed you
Would you doubt me?
If I held you
Would you feel safe?
If I doubted
Would you make me believe?
If I was numb
Would you make me feel?
If I were to stare
Would you know you’re beautiful?
If I were to ask “mine?”
Would you say “forever”?
(untitled)
Kiss me, lover
Long and hard
I kneel before you
To confess my sins
Please forgive me
My life before you
I seek salvation
In you
Sweet dreams, lover
To you
I give
Twilight sky
To hold you through
The night
I wish to be there
Bless you, lover
This is my constant
You have to wade through
Take me lover
I am weak
Absolute disgust
For absolute power
Open hearts
Open eyes
Know your kind
Wicked man
And simple plans
Will topple
Your simple minded
Treachery
You don’t know
What is right for us
Anymore
Common hate
For your common evil
Trample the tyrants
Let the message wave
Through many hearts
That the time
Is upon us
The nimble
The meek
The innocent
Gather the good natured
And all those
Who will
Inherit our kingdom
The truth is love
Love is the way
(untitled)
Disregard when you can
Disregard who I want
Push it away
You dark people
And your pathetic ways
You can only sour
My conscious -
My heart
My soul
My third eye
Remains out of reach
Petty humans
I shine inward
For you
Leaving dull body
To contend with
Your mediocrecy
Dire
How many more times is it going to take
Before there is nothing left of me?
They take what they found appealing –
Sweet word
Gentle touch
Kind smile
Warm body
Passionate blue eyes
And they take until they get their fill
And they leave a husk of a man
Will it not end until they
Have sucked the marrow from my bones?
Or taken the last sparkle
And snuffed it like a cigarette?
Do not suffer this boy
For ye shall suffer also
One side of me a gentle kiss
The other – executioner
I will tell you everything you want to hear
And tell you “you are my world”
Now with my forked tongue
I cut you deep and make you bleed
Only after I have stripped
Your divinity that I have given you
I will take your humanity – for I gave that also
And it is mine to take back
All is mine to take back
And leave you with
Nothing
Flowers and Candy
The sun didn’t shine
Birds didn’t sing
Bitter taste
For such a sweet day
Abandoned
Solitude
Nothing to give
To no one
-Taking what
I’m giving-
Wonder where she is
Maybe I don’t care
Maybe I don’t want to smile
At pseudo love
-Just wanted you
-Just wanted you
Where’s your promising eyes…
Where’s your soothing lips…
Where’s your compassion…
Fuck you, valentine
(untitled)
I dream of sad girls
With pouty lips
And big teary eyes
Frail hearts
And tender emotions
~ Cry when you say you love me ~
I dream of strong women
With dangerous looks
And killer smiles
Sharp minds
And keen intellect
~ Care when you break my heart ~
I dream of you
Timely in decision
Lack in perfection
Quick with wit
And easy in sorrow
All I want
All I need
~ Just Love Me ~
And the sky and the sea
Rage and flow
And bang against the door
In my skull
The rage
-Stuff shut inside-
The flames of hell ~
The hurricane winds ~
Blow through me
Beware my dear
For I am going to unleash
My love upon you
The angry love I have
The mad desire
That craves your touch
The eating of
Myself and my soul
Cry your name
I am being devoured
By all the suppressed
Feelings for you
I want to yell how much I care
But the wave would wash you away
I would call your name
But the fire would burn you alive
Or I could touch you
And make you believe
That between
Heaven and earth
-There is someone who cares
Nice Guy
The need for chivalry is dead. The nice guys of the world are left in the
dust. Be cool, pretend you don’t need
anyone, and everyone will want you, need you. Open a door for someone and get
it slammed in your face. Say a kind word and get walked on to hear the next
one. Be strong, even though you get trampled. Look forward, even when you’re
left behind. Think positive, when you’re a stepping stone for someone’s well
being. Put her on a pedestal so she can knock you down. Hold her hand so she
can rip your arm off and club your hope. Don’t call to say “hi” or you’ll be
called aggressive. Don’t spend as much time with them as you can with her or
you’ll be smothering her. Don’t express how you feel, that’s not what they want
to hear. Don’t care about them – or you will place the weight of the world on
their shoulders. Shoot me – don’t say I’m nice. Kill me – I don’t want to be
your friend. Buy a dog if you want company.
(untitled)
Did you see the moon tonight?
It wore your face
Big, bright, and enchanting
It enthralled me
She held me in her arms
She held me in her glow
Not unlike you,
My pale star
How I could sit and watch you
I feel like a lovesick child
I feel like me
Just like the moon sits
Atop the night
You sit atop my
Heart
Above
Everything
Timid
I wonder, while I sit here,
What you think
Where does your mind wander?
To whom does your mind drift?
Mine strays your way
Perhaps you’re thinking of me?
Even think of me while
I’m thinking of you
Thinking the same thing I am
At the same time
Like simultaneous lovers
Sharing prying thoughts
And contentful moods of
Gentle inhibitions
Secrets I can’t tell you
Dreams I want to sell you
You already know, though
~ I tell you with my eyes ~
Your eyes seem to change color
Blue
Let me dive in
Those enchanting pools
And swim through your thoughts
Green
Wrap me
In glowing emeralds
I love your eyes
They seer my flesh
And rest in my skin
I can feel you
Stepping into my head
Control me
I know nothing else but
Your eyes
You slay the demons
That sit upon my chest-
The closer you are
The farther the torments
Flee from my heart
And it seems only you
Rain
angels
When you begin to pour
Your kindness on me
Nestle me in
Your soft wings
And whisper pure Heaven
And all that comes with
Your angel touch-
Why do you tread
Amongst mortals?
-Disillusioned souls-
Brilliant divine one
Heaven lies not here
But in you
~ So may I cast aside
And fly among
The clouds
That I know you hold
In your hands
Angel
You say we only have tonight
Then I
love you
For only tonight
I love you without end
I hide my inhibitions
And love you unconditionally
My lips close to your neck
Where I feel your skin tingle
Parting them to take you in-
I breathe and all you are
Rushes into me
Your smell
Your sweet smell
The scent of your hair
Your soul and all that’s makes you a woman-
I can feel all your soft curves
Every inch of your body
You have no secrets when you’re this close
The soft flesh that you are
Your
smooth stomach
Like velvet and my blood pumps harder
My pulse races
Your warm breeze fills my senses
Sets them
afire
I’m going to ignite
You are
real
We are
real
~ I know your secrets ~
Bold in company
I gaze upon your beauty
As would kind lovers do
As I would do
Wrap your arms around my neck
Drown me in your flowing love
I will consume you
With this act of
Divineness and sweat
Entangled in this moment
I can see forever
In this flash of time
This glimpse of you
Only Heaven knows
This kind of emotion
And Hell knows
How far I will fall
My life is not enough
To give for you
Nor my blood
My soul either
We are one
Tired
I just need to get away
To your memory
When I’m weary
I rest my head
On your soft moment
And dream away
White nights
Radiate
Dark days
But only
You shine
*Sunflowers*
When my hearts
Ambers slow
It’s okay to be okay
It’s okay to be okay
Okay to be okay
To be okay
To be okay
Be okay
Be okay
Okay
You are no angel
But I know you have wings
You shine light
I have seen it
You are no angel
And you do not walk this earth
But your skin is smooth
Like one
As soft as one
You are no angel
Though you take me
High as the clouds
You are no angel
But you spread love
With a simple gesture
You are no angel
But your touch could heal
Or strike me dead
I want to feel it
You’re no angel
But you could save me…
On no one but you
My lips long to kiss
-Only you-
My arms desire to hold
Only your body
My fingers have only the feel for you
My chest has only the need
For your head to rest upon it
My body is safe
When only your arms are around me
My legs carry me back to you
My ears love your stories
My hair prefers your fingers
Over a brush any day
My heart is never lonely
When yours beats next to it
My mind idles to your memory
When I
fall asleep
It’s always next to you
And when I dream-
It’s always of you
ON
A
BED
OF
WHITE
ROSES
WITH
BLACK
SATIN
SHEETS
When you walk away, I’m a
prisoner. A prisoner of my mind and the demons come and whisper all the doubts
and all the fears. Everything that needs to be left unspoken. My heart aches
and my soul is incomplete. But when you come to me, and put your arms around
me, and hold me, and press against me; I am whole. The smell of your hair, your
perfume, your gentle kiss, your warm skin, your beautiful smile, and your
enchanting eyes fill my need to be complete. My wanting to be complete. When
you’re close to me, orchids bloom, colors explode, and I feel angels. You open
the part of me that cares. The little boy that knows no heartache, no sorrow,
no fear. You are my happy place.
I’ve seen you with your head in your hands
Wishing all these problems away
I’ve seen you on your knees
With your blackened eyes
Crying like a child
-Praying to god-
Hoping he hears you
I’ve seen with that shiny blade
Determined to strip yourself
To bare needs
The bare soul
Happy ~
Sad
Give ~
Take
What a simple creature you are, dear
With
your ideas
What a complex entity you are
With your ideals and rationale
I’ve seen your love
In the broad spectrum of life
Hoping to cling to whatever is constant
And willing to sell yourself
For your small piece of intimacy
To be wanted and needed
Was your
goal
And you believed everything he said
-Because you wanted to-
I’ve seen you scar yourself
For the
truth
Well, there is none, love
Only what your heart tells you…
When the sun is too short
And I need the night to share
With someone
The chill keeps reminding me
That I need to warm
-I have the mood
I just
need the lady-
~ Somebody to joke with
~ Somebody to be there
~ Somebody who wants to be my best friend
~ Someone to be my lover
We can tell secrets
And share our dreams
Someone to listen
When you lay beneath the cold
Blankets that cover you
No soft body
To hold against you
Wondering if anyone wants you
Like you want them
How long will it take
Till you throw yourself to the desperate?
Breaking apart and breaking down-
What a hollow season
Sleep wraps my body
And dreams sweep me from bed
You were lying
Next to me
Arms wrapped around me
Drowsy lips telling me
"I
love you"
But dreams fade
And I awake
To empty sunrises
Holding you again
Would be like
~ Caressing Angels ~
Only if I could
And can’t you see I would
I have given what I can
To keep the peace
I have shown all I can
To hold my ground
You are a goddess to behold
And I cherish to look upon you
Goodnight to you and
Whoever gets to hold you
Through the night
I envy them
And what they hold
It is all I wish for
And want to hold
~ Just you ~
Through the night
Laying here
Bleeding from every pore
Dirty
Rotting
Unjust
I wish to cleanse myself
[Teeth and blood]
Confused by demons
Condemned by angels
R u n
B~l~e~e~d
Heaven and Hell are lies
God
doesn’t care
And I don’t believe in the devil
I want the light
I want wings
Fallen from blue skies
Do not
weep
Over bruised wings
~ They will mend ~
It will all heal
It always does
And shout her name aloud
And pity the huddled masses
Who sit and cry
And hope
-And I shall shout aloud
How much she means-
And with the huddled masses
I will share my joy
For they know not love
Her
Love
So
What me do you want today?-
I asked
The real you-
She replied-
The one that
Makes me smile
Makes me laugh
Makes me love life-
The one that
Kisses me
Holds me
Touches me
Makes me feel ~
I’m sorry
I said
Emotionally numb
Is all I feel
Black and blood red
Is all I see
You call me sweet
And kind
But if you
Could see
What goes on
Inside me
You would think differently
Of what you say ~
Anger roams free
Death and destruction
Frolics about
Loneliness feeds on my
Once plush heart
Famine withers
The little boy inside
And war takes
What is left ~
So
What me would you like today?
The hurt little boy
I fell in love with-
And she
Smiled
You are my
Dream country
Where I stroll
Through rosy fields
That smell as
Sweet as you
I dare not touch
For they are as
Fragile as your heart
I stop to
Quench my thirst
At your
Stream of tears
And I take my fill
And drink it dry
(-It only
Causes
sorrow-)
Scorched earth
Takes place
Of where your
Love used to
Rest its weary
Head so
Long ago
So I shall
Sew the hillside
With my seeds
Of hope
To give back
That once was
Yours dearly
Take the part of me
That you need
To replenish
Your honey fields
And sweet
Blue skies
The eyes are the windows to the soul
What do you see in mine?
Can you see the longing and desire?
Can you see the boy that
Longs to be held?
Can you see the man
That wants to be over you?
Can you see the bastard that has
Left the trail of broken hearts and salty tears?
Can you see the poet who charms
The ear and soothes the soul?
Can you see the artist that
Weaves worlds on paper?
Can you see I want you?
Rain doesn’t describe my feelings
Tears have nothing
To do with my emotions
A ray of hope
Doesn’t come close
To my inertia
Embrace cold steel
And eat glass
I am low and angry
But if you want me
Just
The
Way
I
Am
Then take me
Sweet dreams
Of blue eyes
Tonight
And soft curves
Of cream-tan
Fragile flesh
Dance on
My mind
How sweet
To kiss your lips
How divine
To touch you
How glorious
For you
To be
With me
*Tonight
(untitled)
I’m searching for a change
A new way to look at the world
A new perspective from the everyday
Perhaps a whole new me
Insight unto myself
Myself and everything about me
...Abound me...
A good heartbreak
The tearing of my soul
Possibly diviness
Brings resurrection
To the intellectual inside
To the child inside
Give me a toy
I want to play again
Young
Wild
Carefree
-Innocence above everything-
-Spirit instead of habit-
One last dance, love
Before you say goodbye
And leave me
To die
You are the Apple of my eye
And the eye of the storm
The irony kills me
And the pure miracle of that night
Mocks and laughs at my dreams
3 days
to build
1 day
to strip
My esteem
What a wonderful destroyer
You are, love
Burn me
Take my dead soul
And color me
After the flesh is gone
It takes time, baby
But I still save my love
For you
As I did before
Touch and go
As we did before
If you find yourself
If you find comfort
In what you do
Let me go
Beware the man of the arts
For he is more
Than the wax figure
You face
Beneath the skin
Creativity flows through his veins
Insight guides him
Imagination drives him
Love paces motion
And encompasses all that he is
Love is his muse
Being all it stands for
And the more he suffers
The more it feels like home
Fear not the man of the arts
Though
he be mad
“This is your life
Love
it”
“Be a gentle soul
In a world that fears
The
meek”
Beware the man of the arts
For if he has you
In the palm of his hand
You won’t want to leave
And you shall
Live on
In ink
In colors
-Immortality is his gift-
If I offered you death
Would you die in my arms
Like a true tragedy?
If I brought you life
Would you smile
And live it to its fullest
By my very side?
If I gave you beauty
Would you bloom
A rose; soft and sweet?
If I offered spirit
Could you soar heaven
With a sky blue thought?
If I offered freedom
Would you run away with me?
If I promised serenity
Could you stay?
I take comfort
In another’s arms
For you can’t hold me
Her touch
I use
To put reality
To my dreams
~ Substance to desires ~
~ Warmth to cold wishes ~
But it’s not you
Never your skin
Never your laugh
Never your lips
Always you
Always
And
Never
Would be legend
A thimble of our hope
Could fill the ocean
A thimble of our passion
Could put out the sun
A thimble of our apprehension
Would move mountains
And a thimble of my love for you
Would surely overflow…
Tired of being in the dirt
Gets to me sometimes
Finding myself starting to rhyme
Sadness eating my mind
But not my heart
Can’t touch that part
When does happiness start?
I’m ready to begin
Cause rhyming wears me thin
Take me with you
I know
you
I
know God
"You said it all"
~ Ready for the voyage home ~
You and me, doll
Drive through the country
Sunshine and trees
And you
Radiant as ever
With a smile on your lips
And the wind in your hair
We can be there
We can be there
Solace among us
They don’t know
They can’t know
Away from them
Away
(untitled)
Rattled to the core
By grasping dreams
Living wishes
Consorting with angels
Armed with stitching yarn
Ready to pull tight their
Pink laces
Feeling your way around
Pleasant days
Knowing wishes received
So you don’t overlook them
And once again stitching pink
Angel needles
Tie
The dreams closer
And I am his child
Bring on the night
Let it hide
All I bleed
I hold my innocence
-By will
-By force
What happens when
I cannot embrace it
Any longer?
Will I be feared like
Father
Night
Or will I be lost like
Mother
Day?
And I linger in sunset
With hands growing from the
crimson pool
Reaching for the sky
Out of the liquid red hell
In his hands he cradles a
butterfly
Dreaming of flying on her
back
Away to oblivion
Hate and Despair
Allied for destruction
Marches for the man
Knowing of his freedom
“ Give us the insect
Nothing is allowed
In the field of sorrow
Except you ”
“ But she is the only thing
You haven’t taken from me
And I will
Die for her ”
Crush (contradictions)
That feeling
The one that makes you smile
The one that puts that certain
Spring in your step
The wanting of someone right
I got that feeling
The one that says
It’s not going to work
The one that drags me down
The one that keeps me going
I
understand the hurt. I understand the pained. I understand the distraught. I
understand what it means to be alone and have no control over anything anymore.
I understand what it means to be not wanted and not wanting in such a way that
it eats you alive inside your heart and soul and seems to twist and distort
your vision so that it all becomes backwards to black again and run from your
fear, but it will all catch up to you in the night for that’s when the demons
of the past and present catch up with you and dance in your dreams when you
finally stop to rest. They will catch you.
Pool Hall Death
The
tables scream and whine
As
they are torn from their reality
And
being hauled away
To
their dusty confines
I
sit and watch
And
memorize and notice
The
things I never thought to
Take
recognition in
The
memories that I will always
Hold
dear to me
Table
27, table 27
Where
I fell for the perfect girl
And
the immortal question was asked
“Do
you make a better friend or lover?”
We
know the answer to that, Heather
Don’t
leave out 21
Good
‘ole 21
Where
many a deep conversation
Was
held among the finest of friends
Not
to mention new friends made
Over
beer and eight ball and coffee
The
good times just shooting pool
Always
zen
Along
the green felt traveled
For
escape from the world
*Goodbye
Cue-nique*
I
hold you dear
Always
Color This
I
can read you, but all I see is a child’s coloring book. Shape with no
substance. Let me paint within your lines.
Black
for your heartache.
Red
for your love.
White
for your soul.
Green
for your jealousy.
Blue
for your sky.
And
yellow for the sun that I will bring to your black and white world. You need
this. You need this. Let me color what you see and show you the colors you
could be. You need this.
I
want this.
Set and Fix
I
want you more than I’d admit
To you
To myself
I’m
not one to take the fall
This
is my level of existence
And
when I leave you in tears
Remember
Love
is my naiveté
But
after you have walked
My
wicked ways
And
ran from my errs
And
I only have myself
To get over
You
may just find
Like
the first night
That
I’m still the same boy
You
asked to stay
I think you are beautiful,
Though there is more to you
than what I just see
I find you extraordinary,
by what I know,
And I want to know more.
And I want to know more.
Romeo
If
my hand should do
Anything
but caress you
Sever
it from my wrist
If
my mouth should utter
Anything
but sweet nothings
Cut
out my tongue
If
my eyes gaze upon you
With
anything but adoration
Pluck
them from my skull
And
if my heart should
Do
anything but love you
Leave
me to die
Thrown
Take
me
All
of me
I
dub you all that I am
So
I may forget myself
And
live in you
Where
the roses for my heart
Grow
Reaper
of my soul
Incredible
thief
Wonderful
devourer
Eat me whole
Poetry
Flow
through me
Like
ink through this pen
Put
you to the paper
Of
my memory
Important
enough to write down
Strong
enough to evoke emotion
Smooth
like fluid
Clockwork
for wrote words
Well
thought before expressed
Emotion
reigns
Touch
me inside-
Where
do your passions go?
Done
Perhaps
I’ve suffered
For
my sins
For
my mistakes
And
proof of redemption
Comes
in the form
Of
an angel
Bringer
of shine
Deliverer
of absolution
My
means to an end
The
karma stops here
Perhaps
I’m forgiven
For
my deeds
Serendipity
to show
I’m
whole again
Divineness
is being complete
Gasoline
Love
the fire
And
see how it grows
Hurry
Hurry
Fast
and scurry
Scorching
in my wake
Let
the negative burn
Hope
has new light
And
it catches me inside
Making
an amber
Of
my soul
Hot
and bright am I
(untitled)
Sometimes
I feel like rain
Soft
and subtle
Sad
water
Wanting
to wash away
All
the dirt
Cleanse
the street
And
the matter
Quick
drops
To
be swept away
By
wind and sun
Only
to have it storm again
(untitled)
I
gather myself
In
soft pillows
And
velvet blankets
To
escape to you
Within
my thoughts
Bluebonnet
fields and you
Candy-cane
trees
Play
among the breeze
My
love
The
world can’t touch us
Today
Frolic
through the
Swaying
flowers
You
belong to me
For
the moment
And
the rest of
My
Daydreams
(untitled)
Color
our love with
Crayons
Put
the innocence
Of
a child
And
the curious delight
Which
they do things
Play
with me in
The
rain
Soggy
joy
While
we laugh
And
stomp puddles
We
can tell stories
And
share secrets
Late
into the night
Falling
asleep with
The
t.v. on
Waking
up to
Sugar
cereal and cartoons
(untitled)
I
could lose myself
In
your beauty
Take
me away angel
I
need faith healing
The
faith I have in you
And
what I think
You
can do
Make
things better
With
your touch
Bring
me a little
Contentment
With
your striking beauty
I
dare you
To
make this night last
Rest
on me
You
know where
Comfort
lies
Sprawl
on me
I
want you to be closer
When
you’re this close to me
China Doll
I
cradle you in arms
Of
velvet
My
china doll
Gentle
fingers
So
I don’t scratch you
My
china doll
Put
you on a shelf
And
wipe your dusty eyes
Polish
your tainted cheeks
With
hope
Shine
bright
My
china doll
Let
no one
Smear
your porcelain skin
Nor
tear your dress
Fray
your hair
Sit
on my shelf
My
china doll
You
don’t have to play
Fuck Off
Take
these contaminated things
These
hateful things
I
don’t want them
They
are not me
Nothing
I need
Nothing
I want to be
Crush
the withered and
Simple
hearted
Lay
not their seeds
In
my thoughts
Lock
them out of my soul
That
seek my downfall
I
fly
With
my own heartwings
So
leave me my blue sky
My
sky blue
To
me
Quick Reminder
Remember
to dream big
Don’t
forget
To
reach for highest grounds
You’re
smart
Not
the smartest
But
still the genius
You’re
beautiful
Not
quite a velvet rose
Though
beautiful
You’re
talented
Grow
creatively
Let
your imagination bloom
Be
kind
Love
yourself
And
those around you
My Pen
My
ink spilling magic wand
I
can weave worlds
Play
with your emotions
Get
in your head
And
seduce you with my words
The
ink my blood
The
paper my body
You
My
prisoner
Trapped
in my words
A
visitor to my thoughts
~
Friend ~
If you know
~
Companion ~
If
you understand
My
pen and I
Stormfront
It
rained after you left
It
always does
From
sun
To
misery’s downpour-
It
rained after you left
It
always does
Echo
Words
aren’t important
Laying
here next to you
Touching
you
Let
my caress be enough
Let
my actions scream
When
I’m tongue-tied
But
words aren’t important
Conversation
isn’t necessary
And
it’s so damn quiet
Quiet
Quiet Quiet
When
you’re not around
(untitled)
The
time to sow tears
Of
joy
Come
and reap them
Love
Take
them to your heart
So
it grows
Grow
love
In
your hazel fields
And
let it spread the world over
We
are the source
Here
and now
There
and whenever
Wherever
It
starts with us
Goodnight
Bless
the pillow
You
rest your head on
I
dream of being there
When
you dream
Through
your visions of
Orchids
and waterfalls
Let
me walk with you
Embraced
in the night
Take
me to your special place
Slumbering
one
Lead
me there
Among
your desires
Within
your wishes
I
hope to be
Give and Take
Do
not wait for roses
They
are pretty things
Waiting
to die
I
give you not gold
It
is the trinket
Of
whores
Nor
will you receive sweets
My
dear
Aphrodisiac
for the weak
Petty
gifts
Do
not parallel
My
affections
Material
objects
Are
for fools
I
give you my eyes
Endless
blue on
A
cloudy day
I
give you my smile
Beginnings
to happiness
I
give you my poetry
Emotions
as far
As
the eye can see
I
give you my pictures
All
part of my soul
And
I give you
My
heart
My
love
So
you will not
Be
alone
(untitled)
You
are beyond my senses
And
go straight to my soul
Joy
is your substance
Light
is precedence
You
breed happiness
In
me
I
can feel you in every nerve
You
are the best high
Intoxicating
my heart
And
make my mind swim
I
sweat you from
Every
pore
Only
to have you gather
My
thoughts
In
your basket
And
dive into the
Sea
of me
To
eat my pain
Once
again
Mad Love
Mad,
mad hatter
Can
you live without her?
No,
no
Certainly
not
Without
her I would surely rot
To
bones and gristle
Stop
the rain
Stop
the rain
It’s
starting to drizzle
Jester,
jester
Your
heart festers
Given
less love
To
a lot lesser
Angel
divine
-What
a crime-
I
should never
Have
called you
Mine
Safe
Home
is what I call you
Home
Where
it’s warm
Where
I lay my head
Where
my treasures rest
Someplace
to set hearts
Before
beautiful
Before
sweet
You
are home
I
will cry tonight
Rivers
of joy
Because
I am home
Man-Slaughter
I
feel like a
Murdered
angel
Struck
down by
The
goddess
The
singular vision
Of
perfection
Torn
asunder
Broken
wings
It’s
going to be a long night;
Begat
by long days
Sad
days
And
a tortured soul
And
still
No
one
Understands
The
hurt
Just Shut Up
More
talk
From
your lips
Your
poisoned speech
From
a weary heart
Like
razors to my ears
And
knives to my flesh
More
words
From
your mouth
Like
last we talked
More
devices of pain
More
sleepless nights
And
dreary days
More
self loathing
And
angry thoughts
Please
Stop
talking
It’s
killing me
(untitled)
I
send my love
To
you my brightest star
Grace
to my soul
I
welcome your light
And
go blind with love
But
I don’t need eyes
To
feel you
Feel
you in me
Cradled
in that warm place
Deep
inside
Where
I drift to
To
steal a kiss
When
the world has grown teeth
And
the breath I take
Is
my own
I
can always hold you
I
can always kiss you
I
can always be with you
Letting
my thoughts sparkle
In
my eye
Letting
you take me off
On
the breeze
Skyward
On
your feathers
Into
the sun
Into
the sun
Take
me away
Brightest
star
Nowhereville, Texas
All
this serenity
Would
drive a man
Crazy
De-evolution
Around
every corner
Could
rub off
S l
o w
People
Slowly
living
Running
to their graves
Too
much distance
For
city boys
Give
me traffic
Give
me cafes
Give
me thinkers
But
I’m taking
Natures
Whispers
The
trees speak
Louder
here
And
the animals
Are
fearless
Hugging
and holding
The scenery
So
far from native
Noise
My
native concrete
I’m
taking nature
When
I leave
One of Those Nights
Dead
space
Night
Again
Black
spotlight
To
highlight
The
dull things
Dusty
things
Kept
on the top shelf
Contained
Depressed
Horny
Angry
Lonely
Just
sprinkles
On the main course
Friendless
Loveless
Jobless
Carless
People
could
Care
less
Where’s
the sun?
Where’s
the sun?
It’s
a stagnant night
Tragicus
The
world is a stage
Unlit
And
I’ve fallen into
Act III
Martyrdom:
Punishment
for yourself
The
actors are dead
The
director has
Gone
native
And
the curtain
Determined
to bring it
All
To
last call
:EXIT
STAGE:
Wherever
You
Can
My Friend’s Pool
Pea
soup
Algae
puddle
Of
Forest
green
Kidney
-With
a diving board
/
Slide right in \
Beware
the slimey things
And
I’m wondering
When
the
Ooze
monster
Is
going to crawl
Out
of the
Primordial
hatchery and kill us
Incubating
the creature from
The
creepy lagoon
Sunk
in the back yard
~
Come back
Next
summer ~
A Prayer
God
Bless
those who
Are
less fortunate
Anyone
less fortunate
(Heaven
doesn’t discriminate)
The hurt
The hungry
The homeless
The hopeless
Whether
they were
Spit
upon
Or
condemned by
Their
own faculty
Bless
them all
God
All
of them
The lonely
The lost
The unmotivated
The angry
The unloved
Decaying
masses
Tossed
aside
By
the uncompassionate
(Bless
them too)
Send
them the light
And
carry them
And
walk with them
Hand
in Hand
In
the
Eden
Gardens
-Forgive
us
Lord-
-We
are all
Unfortunate-
Lacking
the
Divinity
We
need
Tree
When
I grow up
I
want to be
A
tree
Tall
Majestic
Changing
with the seasons
Succumbing
to
Mother
Nature
Mother’s
nature
Colorful
pieces of me
On
display
To
shade
The
world weary
And
roots firmly
Planted
In
terra firma
To
spread
My
seeds
Across
the fields
And
there I will
Stand
tall
Standing
tall
Reaching
skyward
Growing
more
With
time
Growing
old
With
beauty
Broad
With
life
Matchsticks and Fear
There
is no substitute for flesh
Flesh
Warm
and fresh
Tan
and porcelain
I
would go mad
Before
I give in
Walked
When
I should have ran
Now
you’re tapping
On
my heels
And
I’ve done what I can
To
forget
How
it feels
When
the hammer
/ Came down \
/ Came down \
Watching
the
Matchstick
castles
Fall
all around
Time
and patience
Lover
and friend
And
I just can’t seem
To
forget
Your
skin
But
even that won’t
Rebuild
matchstick houses
Again
(untitled)
Eat
of the sun
In
your picnic basket
Blue
skies
Tired
Bored
Soaking
in it
Content
Sunny
daze
For
solar powered
Souls
Light
life
Support
systems
For
the bright meek
Sick
of soaked
Dreary
days
-Sloshy
expression-
Hang
us on a line to dry
Corpus Diablo, Inc.
Magic
on my fingers
Still
you judge
By
the cover
Dreams
Ambition
Hope
and faith
Make
wealth
Tick
tock
5
o’clock
Suit
guy
Numbers
on the
Social
scoreboard
When
did you sell your dreams
To
corporate america
The
diluted?
Climbing the whore’s ladder
Instead
of riding
The
spiral to
??????
Glancing
the blurs –
Suit
and white shirts
Brown
shoes and ties
Damn
More khaki pants
Tanner
Than
the Sahara
Just
as dry
On
the 13th floor
Glass
menagerie
Nestled
In
the wall to wall
…Carpeted…
Belly
of the beast
Fed
fluorescence
By
big business
And
the young
Lemming
Professionals
Eat
their dreams
And
watch the real people
Through
dollar eyes
Behind
their tempered cages
Hold
the sun
Hold
the sun
Chained
man
It’s
never too late
Manda’s Hand
Mr.
Bunny Suit stands
Waiting
for the glimpse of
The lace angel
The pixy princess
Her
hand holds
His
eyes
And
her words invade
His
heart
Waiting
on her beauty
Surviving
on honeydew
And
her magical works
Nourished
by her
Life
giving lips
That
bides his
Hundred
Mile Hauntings
Of the Red Vixen
With
the butterfly wings
Who
whispers familiar
Alabama
ground
Just
this side of the city
Just
this side
Of
his own star
Holiday Cheer (kinda)
On
Donner
On
Blitzen
On
shoppers
Keep
on bitchin’
Time
for joy
Time
for cheer
Time
for seasonal depression
Damn
Christmas
is here
Time
for greed
Time
for selfishness
Mall
crowds too
Man,
what a fuckin’ mess
Lights
sucking electricity
Christmas
carolers bugging me
Farmers
killing trees
And
all I want for Christmas
Is
to keep my sanity
I
don’t need presents
I
don’t need mistletoe
I
just need my friends
To
keep all this
Holiday
Cheer
From
makin’ me low…
Lost
You
left me here again
Sitting
in the corner
With
toys scattered
On
the floor
Frozen
in half-step
And
I’m touching
The
light on the carpet
Awed
by the outside
On
display
Through
the window
I
want to play with you
My
toys have rusted
Can
we go to the park?
Could
you sing me to sleep
With
a sweet tongue?
Rub
my back
Bury
me in the
Curve
of your neck
My
childhood was lost
Spun Jenny
Mine
was of the purest
Of
adoration and love
I
wanted to spend time
Cradled
in thoughts
And
ideas
Laughing
at the phone
For
ramblings
Of
your light arguments-
Just
to be near your
Bronze
curves
Brought
my nothing
To
everything
~
You were everything ~
With
softest lips
But
it was brought
To
a boil
And
has become the
Dark
inside
That
I murmur
And
clench my teeth at
I
still hurt
It
would be easy to blame someone
Laying
the shroud on them
I
still carry it
Quit
calling my name
I
still hurt
Confessions
(the guilty and the
satisfied)
“Okay”
“Want
to come in for a minute?”
“It
happens”
“No
guy has ever done that”
“You
have to let people know when you’re interested”
“Do
you like this?”
“Drink
this”
“It’s
been six months”
“Do
you make a better friend or lover?”
“You’re
a sex god”
“I’m
leaving tomorrow”
“Think
I could be in Playboy?”
“I
dream about you”
“Let’s
go”
“This
doesn’t feel right”
“I
want you to touch me”
“I
was waiting for that”
“It’s
a nice size”
“Can
I come over?”
“Sure,
I’ll stay”
“You’re
so adorable”
“You
touched the magic button”
“I
could worship you”
“I’ve
never been more comfortable with someone”
“We
should take off our clothes”
“I
love your art”
(thank you to all my lovers)
Pondering Middle America
Bread
and butter
Suburbs
of the classy
Sidewalk
borderlands landscaped
Lawn-cared
for green yards
Trimmed
and edged and pesticided
To
pristine perfection
Stay
off the grass
And
don’t touch the whitewashed
Picket
fences
This
is what I dream of
But
do I want it?
Do
I want it?
Travesty
to take Holly Homemaker
And
the 2.3 kids
And
Rover and Fluffy
To
the neighborhood of milk and honey
Minivan
land of the suburbanites
Just
to swing a little on the playground
And
decide starving artists
Love
life more
Is
Loft life more grand?
Unfortunately
you can’t
Just
stick your toe
In
the americana pool
Ode to Jack Kerouac
We’ve
been down this road before
Haven’t
we Jack?
Kerouacing
along the side of the road
The
street
~
w h
o o s h ~
Steady
cars providing
A
breeze of dust and road grime
To
cool and coat
The
new world hobo
~
Step meditate
~
Step enlightenment
~
Step dharma
But
the passer-byes don’t know us
Do
they Jack?
Just
another walker
Shame
on them
*Everything
is God*
Kicking
dew
To
kicking dust
They
don’t know us
~
Step God
~
Step Heaven
Earth
and sky
Is
ours with each step
Closer
to the center of life
They
don’t know us
Do
they Jack?
Acidicity
If
it be done…..
Be
sure to ride the wave
And
listen to the hum
Of
the earth
Listen
for the hum and drone
Usually
overlooked through
Narrow pupils
Privileged
are the few that see
The
Spiral of Life
Hovering
above each of our heads
Connecting
to the epicenter of
All
that is joy
(God’s
spiral?)
Just
watch it
Just
watch it and smile
Because
you are alive
-You
are not ready to touch it-
Just
watch in awe
And laugh
And laugh
And
laugh
Because
it is all so damn funny
When
friends come along
...Stay
away from chaos
...Order
is necessary
You
belong here traveler
Stay
on the planet
Stay
outward for pleasantries
(((((((However)))))))
There
are testaments
To
my minds eye visions
Psychedelica
third eye landscapes
L.
S. D.reaming apparitions
And
lounging in silk hammocks
While
swaying in the
Acidicity
breezes
Skating
on steel grates
Through
the armored
Constructs
of the back chasm
---Brainstem
Shaking
hands with future forms
Telling
the mirror to watch out
Not
to unlock too many doors
-It’s
a bigger room than you think-
Bigger
vaults that you don’t think with
-90%
goes on for miles-
-And
miles-
Go
down \
Take
a right >
Forward
~~>
Down
\\\\
<
Left
To
arrive at the edge of
Yourself
And
drop back in to leave
But
that is only me-
Weeping
for Angels falling
Drama
Weighing
heavy on lost hearts
With
bended sight
Shedding
pure feathers
Once
they pass the horizon
Sprouting
black chrome arm knives
For
their condescending
Passing
stripped of pastel flesh
Exposing
dull blue paste
Tempered
by unfamiliar heat
But
the grandest of gifts
(Reward
for sadness beheld?)
Lay
beyond the distance
-My
picture of Heaven and Hell-
Just
the other side
Of
one another
-Heaven-
Extending
majestic emerald towers
Tall
enchanting castles
With
points in the skyground
Backdrop
of brightest
Tear
forming
Beautiful
yellow and orange rays
And
everything succumbs to the castles
Everything
is horizontal
~
Hell ~
A
dank reflection
On
the belly
At
the feet
Of
the Grand Kingdom
Smeared
grey and soot black
Upside
down tattered buildings
Raked
side to sideways
Cut
with the truth
Smeared
on itself
Everything
is vertical
Writhing
and wallowing in its
Own
muck sewer mockery
Of
the sacred Heaven
-This
I witnessed-
Let Go
Staring
at the room
Here
come those memories
No
trespassing please
~
pace ~
~
the space ~
Think
about something
ELSE
~
i smoke too much ~
I
could weigh your worth
In
stars
~
clean something ~
Your
smell came with
An
out of body experience
~
pace ~
And
the warm curve
Of
your neck
Is
where I hid
~
the space ~
My
atoms stood at full
!Attention!
For
all your words
For
all your posture
Firehairbrainsexy
Leggysoftcurvy
~
bury your head ~
Why
do I have to see
You
every Sunday?
~
damn fox networkings ~
I
carried those
Red
cotton pair of
Cut
trophies
In
my back pocket
For
years
After
I couldn’t
Commit
to us
To you
To love
-Long
distance love
Can’t
keep me warm-
~
pace ~
You
should have
|Bound
me|
>Drilled
me<
{Bagged
me}
Taken
me with you
~
the space ~
It
wasn’t worth it
~
shut up ~
I
regret it all
~
damn ~
Through Me
These
gifts to you archangel
Hold
steadfast to these things-
He said
Contentment
For
you, child
But
continue to shed feathers
To
make way
For
new ones
I
will help you fly-
He
said
~
Goose ripples for gifts of
Grandeur
needs
That
needn’t be said ~
Be
kind, child
And
do the proper-
He
said
Give
and take, archangel
It
is mutual
Love
for love
Patience
Tolerance
Build
these well
Stray
from the wicked
Shed
old feathers-
He
said
Random City (ties)
The
poor stay poor
And
the rich
Get
stop lights
With
your head
Up
your ass
You
still don’t act
Human,
right?
Hey
look!
Aww,
you missed her
She
was a looker
The
stable fall
From
glory
Boo
hoo
We’ve
heard
We’ve
lived the story
The
timid
Get
their hands on
The
spotlight
Carry
on
And
live it
Invisible
in that bar
Unapproachable
at that club
Annoyed
by that card
Look
out, bub
I
seek love…
Follow that glossy eyed
10
Across the room
Out the door
Walk across the street
Just
to see
Just to
get a look
At the untouchable
Beauty
Stare all you can
Boy, that’s all you’ll
Get, just go
Handsome, so you are
Scared, way to be
Scarred, can it be?
Forget it kid-
Don’t let your eyes
Lead
Stop Stop Stop!
And
Go Go Go!
Be your artself
Be your kindself
Close your eyes
And
Just let it go
Hey guy,
Maybe you should
Drive that red pony car
Like it has 300-horse power
And 23” tires to hug the road
And wash the 3 inches of dust
Off the candy apple red
2 coat paint
You