our_family

Our Family
1988 - 2000

Who could have known 17 years ago when we met that our lives would have turned out like they have!!! We have so incredibly much to be thankful for and I can't imagine that there is anything I would change about what we have been through even if I could....each experience has been a learning experience with good things coming from even the rough times.

On October 19, 1985 we met and started dating. I was a senior at Plano Senior High (Class of 86) and Michael (Class of 85) had graduated the year before from Plano East Senior High. It's a good thing I guess that neither of was really into sports, because these schools were huge rivals..LOL. More than a few people asked us about that in the early stages of our relationship and we'd both just laugh!! I often woke up in the morning with flowers on my front porch back then...he was such a romantic!!! LOL

On August 6, 1988, we were married in Dallas, Texas in front of our families and friends. Poor Michael was sick as a dog through the wedding (and the preceding few weeks to it), but somehow made it through and we made it official. As sick as he was and as worried as I was about him, it really did turn out to be a beautiful day, and one that I will never forget. Michael did end up in the hospital a day later and a day after that the first of his major surgeries due to his Crohn's Disease began. He was very very sick and we were in the hospital for a long time. We laugh and say that we spent our honeymoon at Medical City on the 7th floor, and used to threaten to go back there for our tenth wedding anniversary and have our dinner in the waiting area...LOL. We didn't manage to do that after all, but it's still a thought for some future anniversary!!! We spent 7 days in ICU (and had a second surgery during that time), and 21 days up in a room because of infection and a slow recovery. We were REALLY happy to leave there when we finally did!!!

So we kind of had a rough start to our lives together, and there were more to come, but we somehow always managed to come out stronger every time.

Two years later, in 90, Michael began not feeling well again. After a visit to his Gastrenterologist, he was told the Crohn's were in the last foot of his small intestine and began Prednisone again. This is the only drug that ever helped him, but was also the one he never was able to get off of on his own. It's a wonder drug, but has some awful side effects, and Michael always managed to have them all. Poor thing ballooned up 80 pounds in 3 months and looked nothing like himself...he felt miserable!!! So finally, 6 or so months later, we made the decision to have another bowel surgery. Everything was to be different this time because he was healthy going in. Should have known nothing ever happens that simply!!!

The surgery went well, but he was not bouncing back as I thought he should. They removed the last foot of his small intestine and we were all hopeful that this would be it for a while. 4 days later they released us from the hospital. The next morning he woke in extreme pain, I rushed him to the hospital, and he was going into shock by the time we got there. The doctors were grim. They took him back in to open him up and try to figure out what was going on. The doctors were THRILLED to come out and tell us that it was GALL STONES and his gallbladder had ruptured, that was all...LOL. Apparently he has been having gall bladder trouble that was thought to be pain from his intestines and never investigated. Considering they really cannot take anymore of his intestine, the doctors happiness over what it turned out to be was understandable.

We have now had 10 years with Michael being mostly healthy!!! Yes, the Crohn's is still there, and he occasionally has flare ups and doesn't feel great, but we are managing it drug free and are both thrilled to be this far down the road with no more complications. It's honestly hard to believe all that craziness was so long ago.

So, our little lives proceeded along....we lived in an apartment, a house and another house....Michael worked for 3 different professional photo labs and I worked for a couple of different management companies and for the City Of Mineola, and life was rumbling along. We had moved to East Texas to be closer to my family in November of 91 and had our first "home" with about 8 acres behind it. It was amazing how quiet it was out there and it took some getting used to for this city girl!!! LOL We commuted together for the first 9 mos, 1 1/2 hours each way, so we could keep our jobs in Dallas till we found something out there. It was such a pain!! During the late fall, winter and early spring, we left in the dark and returned in the dark!!! I finally got my job with the City of Mineola, as their Main Street Director and Michael got his with a photo lab about 3 months later.....we were really glad to have that drive out of the way!!! We were also happy to be able to spend more time with my family who lived about 20 minutes away!!!

Things were really going along beautifully, and then tragedy struck my family. In May of 92, my little brother was killed in a car accident and it devastated the whole family. Joshua was 16 and being 7 years younger than me, was almost more like a child to me than a sibling. He was an incredibly special person who overcame alot in his short life. At the age of two, he was diagnosed with Epilepsy and would battle to control it his whole life. He dealt with learning differences and overcame them to be able to attend regular classes when they moved out to east Texas and was doing well. He was driving too.... something we never were sure he'd be able to do. And he had his first girlfriend and some good buddies to run around with. Things were just starting to really come together for him when the accident happened. He has to have been the sweetest child I have ever known. He was incredibly sensitive and was always very concerned about other people's feelings. He loved animals and helped my mom rescue many of them. He was very, very loved. And he is very very missed.

To even make this more devastating, there were 4 other kids in the car with him...his girlfriend and 3 of his buddies....all heading home after school. Joshua knew about buckling up and was really good about it, but on this day, too many friends needed a ride, and none of them put on a seat belt. In addition to losing Josh, we also lost his girlfriend and one of his friends, and another friend was left paralyzed, with the third suffering injuries that he was able to recover from thankfully. It devastated this small town of 4000. Each funeral was attended by hundreds of people, and they were all beautiful. The community rallied around us and it was amazing. As devastating as it all was, there were some truly beautiful blessings that happened because of it.

A week later, my little sister graduated from High school. The ceremony was bittersweet as everyone was still reeling from the accident, and Jess was just so devastated by it all. Somehow we made it through, and 8 years later, while we all miss him terribly, and some days are so much harder than others, we all made it somehow.

As we began to recover from the shock, Michael and I discussed why we were still waiting to have children. We had been married for 5 years, had jobs and a home, and while we would have loved to have been even more financially stable, we were doing alright. So, in October of 92 we started trying to "make a baby" and we were able to announce our pregnancy the weekend after Thanksgiving that year!!! Our baby was due in early August of 93. Everyone celebrated!!! I had an easy pregnancy and all was pretty right with the world.

Joshua Chancellor "Chance", made his appearance on July 28th, 1993. After an easy, uneventful pregnancy, we hoped for the same with labor and delivery. Unfortunately we were not so lucky....it was a very difficult and scary one instead. A large part of it was due to our doctor which makes it even that much more difficult to understand. Things could have been very different. But, we had our little boy and we were happy...ultimatly, that's all that matters.

I quickly realized that I was meant to be a stay at home mom, and have been ever since!!! I desperately wanted to breast feed Chance, but he was unable, so we settled into a bottle routine. He was an incredible baby..very sweet and laid back. With me staying home, Michael had to head back to Dallas for work that would pay enough to support us on one income. We knew it was the right choice to make, but were sad that he would miss so much of Chance's babyhood, and that I would be almost solely responsible for him and everything else. But we made it work!!!

We missed Michael and he missed us, so we decided that we all needed to move back to Dallas. In January of 94 we did just that and have been here since then. It was wonderful to have the family all back together again all the time!!!! So, in early 95 we started talking about having another baby. I am 5 years older than my sister, and Michael's sister is 4 years older than him, and we both felt like we wanted a little less distance between ours, so this seemed like the time to start trying again. Things didn't "take" like they did the first time, and we struggled for a year with secondary infertility. We were both sad and frustrated. We finally quit trying, and sure enough, I was pregnant within 2 months!!! In March of 96 we announced that we were expecting again and everyone was thrilled yet again. Baby #2 was due in late November.

Not wanting a repeat of our last labor and delivery story, I decided to go a rather unconcervative route and found a Certified Nurse Midwife we could see and she would deliver our baby at the hospital. It was perfect!!! Brenda was wonderful and we again had an uneventful, easy pregnancy. This time though, we had the same for labor and delivery and Madison Noelle made her appearance on November 27, 1996. I remember thinking as I saw her the first time, "look at all that red hair" and "what I am I going to do with a GIRL!!!". LOL

A very short 5 months later, I found out I was pregnant again!!!! It was about as close to an immaculate conception as there is...LOL. It was just a good thing Madison was little bitty because she was quickly having to wrap herself around my growing belly to nurse!!! Baby #3 was due in January of 98. We were unable to use Brenda because she had moved her practice to Fort Worth, so we found our new midwife and would this time have our baby in a birthing center. Just seemed like the logical progression to take....LOL. While it took some getting used to the idea that we were expecting again, we really were thrilled that there would be another kiddo in our lives!!!

On January 25, 1998, Abigail Aston made her appearance in the world, as I stood to deliver her. The birthing center was amazing!! I was "smart" this time though and stayed home to labor through most of it with my sister and Michael by my side. The labor and delivery went beautifully and we had ourselves ANOTHER little girl!!!!! Another red head too...LOL.Abigail took right to breast feeding and did so for 3 1/2 years!!! I don't know that I could have told someone ahead of time that I'd nurse till she was this age, but it's been an amazing and wonderful experience for both of us.

During 1998, we started working on some of the issues that Chance and Madison were dealing with, but for the most part, we were still very laid back and not worried. Whatever was going on, in my mind, was just temporary and with a little therapy, they would both be fine. Michael, who had worked himself into the Digital Department at the professional lab he was working in, interviewed for, and GOT his dream job in November of 98!!! He went to work for Macromedia, and was there until just recently. It was his first time working with a large company and the perks were wonderful. We are all very proud of how well he has done and how far he has come.

It wasn't until January of 99 that I realized I needed to start taking things more seriously with Chance and Madison, and begin looking for some answers. You can read all about our journey on Chance's Mito page and Madison's Mito page. It's been a difficult three years, and yet there have been many blessings that have come from it. We no longer take anything for granted and rejoice in all the little milestones along with the big ones. And we appreciate each day for what it has to bring.

Honestly, things have been so busy with the kids and getting them all over the place, there hasn't been alot else happening over the last year to report!!! Michael is playing soccer again this year, and just finished his first season of softball (you can read more about it on his page). I am the web master for a Pediatric Therapy Clinic here in town and enjoying having the chance to work on something useful and important to so many. There is little time for much else between being a MOM, wife, medical and educational advocate for Chance and Madison, and being a driver getting them all over town for school and therapy!!!! There are not too many moments during the day anymore for much else!!!!

Thanks for reading all about our family!!! We feel very blessed to have the friends and family that we do, and hope this web site might be a way for everyone to keep up with the happenings over here!!!!!

~The McNair's~

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