COSMIC CONNIE, AGNOSTIC AMERICAN PRINCESS C |
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The only official web site by
Cosmic Connie |
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Above: Connie in pre- Cosmic Relief
days (note gullible expression). Below: Connie in May 2004
Click on pic for larger version. |
COSMIC
CONNIE...
Back to Cosmic Relief Contents Page She's easily startled by loud noises and is attracted to bright shiny objects...has acceptable table manners and usually behaves herself in public...has a volatile attention span but is considered "educable"... But who is she really? Well, she's nobody's Venusian, that's for sure, and she has no use for Martians. She prefers Earth men, particularly the type who stay away from John Gray seminars. Call her a personal-growth survivor, a pop-culture victim, a woman who ran with the wolves when other women were still just sitting around loving too much or making foolish choices. "It's true," she says of the latter. "I once had a pet wolf - an oxymoron if there ever was one - and this was years before wolves became so trendy. At night my wolf and I used to sit on the back porch of our little suburban house, howling together. So, please, no 'Wild Woman' workshops for me. I don't need no stinkin' seminar to teach me how to howl." |
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| Born and nurtured in the Wild West
(Wyoming, Montana, Colorado), Connie now lives in Houston, Texas. Over the years she has
fallen passionately in love with the Bayou City, though
she laments the fact that it is now a one-daily-newspaper
town. (She is still officially in mourning for the Houston
Post.) Connie is particularly
enamoured of Houston's Inner-Loop area, headquarters of
the hopelessly trendy. She moved inside the Loop with
high hopes that some of its ineffable coolness would rub
off on her. So she haunted the alfresco dining spots, the
local bookstore-cafés, the snob-food
"Epicurean" and "flagship"
supermarkets, and some of the 150 or so bagel shops in
her immediate neighborhood - always in search of the
answer to that most profound question, "Am I cool
yet?" The answer, alas, was always, "No." These days, Connie lives and works ("I don't 'office'," she insists) in a nice neighborhood a bit outside the Loop with her business partner and the love of her life, Ron Kaye, and their assorted quadrupeds. Connie's day job includes book editing / ghostwriting, copywriting, and graphic design, in partnership with Mr. Kaye. Their company is called, not surprisingly, Schmidt Kaye & Co. Connie's night jobs are promoting Cosmic Relief, doing research for her next book, Tantra for Rednecks, and faking her way through web-site design. Her turn-ons include elegant restaurants (and tacky ones too, if the food is good), friendly dogs, nice Jewish boys, room service, world peace and Leonard Cohen lyrics. Turn-offs? Houston summers, mayonnaise, motivational plaques and posters, spiky punk hairdos on middle-aged women, and cable-TV companies that cut off your service just because you don't pay your bill. Connie is a Licensed Minister of the Universal Life Church, and is studying for some of the Special Titles currently offered by the Church, including Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality; The Very Esteemed; Baroness; and Lay Sister. |
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All right, then, enough about Cosmic Connie... |
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At the Texas Renaissance Festival,
October 2003
Click on pic for larger version. |
I must write to
her now. I want to find out how to order her book, Cosmic Relief. I want to find out more about Cosmic Relief. Hit me with some FAQs. I want some relief NOW. Lead me on to some samples. |
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SMIC RELIEF
