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A RANT FROM GERMANY . . .

Webmistress's note: This rant was partially in response to some stuff in Rant & Roll Room 2 and Rant & Roll Room 1

Dear Cosmic Connie,

I have been turned on, as it were, to your Cosmic Relief (ahhhh.....) web site by my friend Paul R. (the Truly Awful Poetry guy). Thank you for giving me new-found courage to remain a fence-sitter. It is good to see someone speaking out against all of this self-help crap; hopefully, people who truly need protected from the "self-help" influence will stumble onto your web site, like some hapless traveler into some fateful diner on a dark and stormy night .... rrr-retch!

I am delighted to hear that Houston is such a wellspring of New Age activity and hooey; my family has been almost entirely transplanted to there (save for two of us siblings). Good ribs there, if one is a flesh-eater. Great if you're a gun-lover, too. Suburban sprawl taken beyond the extreme. Hot and humid as all holy hell. I've been there mostly during Christmas or Thanksgiving, and haven't done any exploring sans relatives, so was not fully aware (until now) of its multi-faceted nature, much like the multi-faceted nature of healing crystals.

...Speaking of Houston and self-help groups, I'd like to bring up the topic of evangelical Christianity... Christians (particularly "evangelicals") and college Christian groups are both motivated to proselytize (it's a requirement of their belief system), and use the same ploy that self-help groups do: they prey upon desperate people. Since life is hopelessly complex, and there are NO simple answers, if there are any answers at all, it is next to impossible to affect change, and it can only be done over years or decades. Unfortunately, people want and hope for results on a much shorter time scale (we don't live forever, after all). So, hey, you should accept Christ's teachings, or [a personal-coach / motivational guru's] teachings, because, hey, look at yourself: what do you have to lose? "You'll never know if you don't try it." And of course, you will be informed that the reason the new philosophy isn't working is that you have yet to buy into it 100%.

I don't think most Christian groups consciously exploit the "desperation factor," and I think that many truly believe they are helping to "turn people on" to the Real Thing. I would imagine that televangelists do, and that these insidious self-help/New Age assholes definitely do. After all, who is easier to manipulate than someone with little self-confidence?

I don't want to go too deeply into the struggle I have had with fundamentalist Christian beliefs, most of which are driven by contempt and hatred for other human beings (including oneself). (On the other hand, I still consider myself a "provisional Christian." Like you, CC, I am a fence-rider by occupation, and, like I told a friend once, "People who are convinced they are right are wrong." Nothing is simple, and there is no One Truth, no matter how badly people want to believe in one. Although a "scientist" by training, I really have a bone to pick with the "Science is my religion" people.)

Let's focus on a certain $elf-help group. This particular group is involved in "non-linear education."... I will just refer to this group as a "forum of people" (FOP), let's say. Basically, "non-linear" means "you won't be able to detect any gradual improvement in yourself; you'll keep feeling terrible until one day, it clicks. So, keep spending money on seminars and it will happen!!" Also, it sounds scientific. (Another interesting trend is the proliferation of non-sciencey science buzzwords: "catastrophe theory," "chaos," "fuzzy logic," ad nauseum. Also amusing are "theories": "game theory," "knot theory," and so on. If it's a theory, it must be pretty hard-core!)

Just before I went to grad school, I had a grad student friend who was big into this forum of people, had done the preliminary workshops, and was now conducting some of these weekend workshops and seminars himself. He was big into New Age self-help stuff, including the thesis of men and women originating from two different planets. (By the way, I am a living example of the meaninglessness of the title "PhD". It means almost as little as "MBA" or "MD".) I was in a pretty crappy time in my life then, because I felt like I had completely wasted my time in college, and felt that I was moving for a future that I was unprepared for, but couldn't figure out what I should be doing with my life. Like (almost) everyone else.

My friend, being so receptive to my inner suffering, and so full of the Hidden Knowledge, had, over the course of a few years, suggested to me time and time again that I attend the weekend seminar of this FOP, for a measly $400-$500 or whatever it was. I think I was allowed to attend a short, one-night meeting as a guest, in which I would just be delivered a full-on sales pitch on why I needed the weekend seminar ($$$). That is how a business (or scam) makes money, after all. I would also be critically evaluated, I'm sure, and told how badly I needed to "do the FOP," or else I would continue to be a miserable failure for the rest of my life.

I sort of regret not going to at least one meeting. But I was concerned that it might lead to me "doing the FOP." At that point in my life, I was willing to try anything. There is nothing wrong with curiosity, especially if you are able to resist brain washing, but I realized that every time someone "did the FOP" out of curiosity, even just once, the FOP corporation made money. This was exactly their aim: to get people to pay at least once. Repeat customers were merely icing on the cake. After all, who wouldn't pay a few hundred bucks on the chance that something simple but completely essential to living a fulfilling life could be made known to them?

I hope you have enjoyed this "share." :) I am also eternally sorry for using "emoticons."

Keith Ball, Institut fuer Physikalische Chemie, Darmstadt

Kdb@pc.chemie.tu-darmstadt.de  

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