| LAWYER HUMOR
Stupid Clients of the
month:
*Two men tried to pull the
front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper
of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine,
though,
they pulled the bumper off
their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain
still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the
chain. With their
vehicle's license plate still
attached to the bumper. (Courtesy of WWLA)
*England: A German "tourist,"
supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While
making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the
tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the
tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A substantial
amount of narcotics was found
in the golf bag.
* Location unknown: A desperate
bank robber lays in wait outside of a local downtown bank. Finally, the
opportunity presents itself and he abruptly walks up to a teller with a
note demanding all the startled teller's money. After receiving the money,
he quickly rushes towards the door to perfect his escape. He crashes into
the door several times in a frantic attempt to escape. The door will not
open. He throws his arms and shoulders into the door several more times
without luck. Finally, after pacing back and forth in full view of the
video surveillance camera's, another customer enters the "push from the
outside pull from the inside door" bank entrance door, and this exasperated
bank robber escapes with the police not far behind.
*Walking through Chinatown,
a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs
and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans
Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that
fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman
behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like
"Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The
tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here,"
replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this
country, was stand in line
at Immigration Documentation Center. Man in front was
big blonde Swede. Lady look
at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffsen." Then she look
at me and go, 'What your name?" |
TCBBA MONTHLY
LAWYER PROFILE
Tiffany Hamilton
Assistant District Attorney
401 W. Belknap St
Ft. Worth, TX. 76102
(817) 884-1400
Tiffany, comes to Tarrant
County from Ft. Bend County, a suburb of Houston. She is originally from
the metroplex and decided to return home to practice. Tiffany went to UT
at Austin for her undergraduate degree and then to Texas Southern University's
Thurgood Marshall School of Law for her law degree. She is currently assigned
to the misdemeanor section of the Tarrant County District Attorney's office
and can be seen in County Court #6 in trial, prosecuting a variety of charges.
Welcome Tiffany, we are glad to have you here. Continue to attend our meetings.
We look forward to working with you and for you.
MONTHLY SHOUT-OUTS
a. To Bobbie Edmunds
on her selection as honoree for Quest for Success".
b. To Douglas Greene
on his recent selection for temporary assignment to serve on the United
States Sentencing Commission.
c. To Renee Brooks
on her election to the Howard University Board of Trustees. Can you say
... connections! (Smile)
d. To Louis Sturns
on his rumored recent huge settlement. Guess who is treating for lunch?.
e. To Professor Gilbert
Holmes, the Texas Wesleyan BALSA Faculty advisor, Andrea
Martin and the members
of TWLS BALSA, on a successful minority recruitment day. |
f. To Phelesa Guy
on her promotion within the DA's office and on her thoroughness as secretary
for TCBBA.
g. To Nachael Howell
for setting up an e-mail address for TCBBA.
COMMUNITY CALENDAR OF
EVENTS
* 3/5/99 -Minority leadership
meeting . Austin, Tx.
* 3/24/99 - 3/28/99 National
Black Law Student's Association ('NBLSA') will have its annual conference
at the Hyatt Regency Hotel at Reunion in Dallas.
* 3/25/99-Brown Bag Seminar.
Re: Probate Texas Wesleyan Law School
* 3/25/99-3/26/99 TCDLA
Annual Seminar: Houston, TX.
* 3/30/99- New Discovery
Rules: 9:00-1:00pm TCBA offices.
* 4/6/99- People's Law
School : TCBBA Como Montessouri school.
4001 Littlepage Rd.
Ft. worth, Tx.
6:00pm-8:45pm
* 4/16/99-4/18/99: Bench
Bar conference; Tapaito Springs Resort, Boerne, TX.
* 5/9/99 - National Law
Day
* 6/9/99-6/12/99: State Bar
conference - Ft. worth
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES
* SEC Ft. Worth is seeking
1 lawyers to hire for civil litigation and for its enforcement staff. Salary
commensurate with experience
* Attorney General's office
- Child Support - hiring in the Ft. Worth & Dallas offices. Contact
AG's office. (214)-330-4591 in Dallas for further info.
* Postal Mediator: For
attorney's interested in doing mediation for US Postal cases, please contact
Ms. Willie H. Mayfield @ 817-870-8150 or PO Box 2567, FtW, TX. 76113-2567.
This is a new program run by the post office entitled the redress program.
* Unit Chief ,El Paso
County Attorney's office.
Contact Edward Sosa, 1st
Asst. County Attorney, El Paso, TX.
|
LOCAL INTERNET PROVIDERS
For those of you interested
in getting on the internet, below is a helpful list of some of the local
internet access providers along with their telephone numbers to assist
you.
* Flashnet communications
- 817-332-8883.
Charge is $6.95 per month
* SWBell - 888-792-4638.
* Cyberramp - 800-835-3888.
Charge is $9.95 per month
* America on Line (AOL)
800-827-6364.
* Prodigy - 800-213-0992.
* JUNO - this is an email
only service, telephone # 800-654-JUNO(5866)
* Internet America - 1-800-be-a-Geek |
Membership Dues
Just a friendly reminder:
Drop your $25 check in the mail for your 1998-1999 annual TCBBA dues today.
Our treasurer is always available. Contact Lateph Adeniji @ 5601
Bridge Street, Suite 420 Fort Worth, Texas 76102
817-654-1161.
TCBBA MEMBERSHIP DIRECTORY
If your name and/or address
is not included in our members directory, located on our Web page (see
above for address) please contact Phelesa Guy or Marla Lee @ 348-7525 or
email her at LeeM@commcredit.com. Phelesa can be emailed at lesalaw@aol.com
Please include your correct name, address, telephone number, law school,
date of graduation and areas of concentration. ASAP!
* Remember we are always
on the look-out for new articles to add to our monthly newsletter. If
you have a story or any other news that you would like to share, please
contact Cicely Nedd-Thomas, Editor @ 972-252-2679, or Douglas Greene, Publisher
@ 817-978-2753 or at qdcg@swbell.net
* For all those who have
not provided their fax numbers and/or email addresses, please remember
to provide Marla Lee or Phelesa Guy with that information asap so we can
expedite the distribution of TCBBA information to our members.
|
PRAYERS
* To Jackie Robison
on a speedy recovery on his unexpected recent surgery. GET WELL SOON!
* To Sonyia Bryd, on
the recent loss of her brother. Our prayers go out to you and your family.
NEXT MEETING
March 16, 1999 at 6:00pm
Tarrant County Bar Assoc.
1315 Calhoun
AGENDA
1. Call to Order
2. Reading and approval
of 2/16/99 minutes
3. Committee reports
a. Treasurer's report
(Lateph)
b. People's Law School
(Jackie)
c. State Bar meeting (Cicely)
4. New Business
5. Announcements
6. Adjourn |
President's
chat